The storm

You came knocking on my door,
and you waited for so long.
You sheltered me, and promised me the sky
the moon and the stars.

You held my hand every time I was scared
and told me there was nothing to be scared of.

You looked into my eyes,
and I saw myself.

You told me we knew this was meant to happen
and I felt so safe with you.

You asked for everything
and everything I had I gave it to you.
My love, my home, my time, my body.

And suddenly you said you didn't want these things anymore...

You said you had to figure out some stuff,
you had to go away.
And you left me alone in the rain...

You left me with all my feelings for you
you left me in the midst of a crucial moment in my life
you left me with all these love that became hate

You left me empty,
fractured,
disappointed,
betrayed.

And i see through you now.
I cant find the person I loved
I cant find the love in your eyes
just fear and cruelty.

I know one day it will go away.
You will disappear from my life and I will be happy.

But I will never ever forgive you for letting me go.
Because as much as I hate you, I know that you know,
and you know that I know that it was one of the best things
that could have happened to us.

You blame timing,
I blame you.
And its too soon to see that all your cruelty is part of you as well.
Because I still love you
and I still want you
but I must walk away.

I wish you didn't have my heart,
I wish you were out of my mind,
I wish you wouldn't have taken April with you.

Run Away II

I want back the last three weeks of my life.
I want back all the messages I sent you.
I want back all the music I gave you, all the books I lent you.
I want back all the invitations I extended.
I want back all the kisses I gave you.
I want back the hand I gave you to hold.
I want back all the love.

And you,
you can take your insecurity.
You can take your selfishness,
your empty promises,
and all the pain and shitty mess you've caused.

Please, take it all and leave me alone.

You have left me in chaos
I have no clue where to run
and yet I will still run into you.

I cannot put my life on hold,
and I cannot hide the tears

So please please please disappear.

Where did all this come from?

Too many options.
You can't handle it,
you couldn't possibly handle it.

Its our own fault,
yet we blame others.

When we don't know what we want,
how could we possibly understand,
or make a choice?

And people might get hurt,
we get hurt
and not a lot has meaning anymore.

I want it to stop.

There is still hope...

The distractions of my distractions,
and the complications of my speculations
and I realize all I really need
is more things in my life in order to feel less.

Yet you are still you,
and there must be something else because
you are always the last one standing.
No distractions can erase you,
I can't ignore you, but just walk away.

And yet there is a glow in me today
and all i want to do is love you
and tell you it's over
while the music still plays
while you haven't really hurt me yet.

Reflections

To be quicker and less engaged,
to record a fragment of an intense phase.

Changes keep coming, keep going
and I'm not surprised anymore.
I look forward to the new and the old
to the dessert and the unknown.

I saw you today, and I stared at you for so long
I was burning holes on the back of your red plaid shirt
and you never turned around.

We can go in different directions
the object of your affection may be somewhere else
but I don't need you for this journey
though I'd take a last rendez-vouz.

Why, why will I not give it a last chance?
How will I stop when I want to?
When does the decision stop being mine?
And why, why on earth are your lips not onto mine?

Disenchanted

You said what I couldn't say,
And yet, I'm reluctant to agree with you.
nobody wants to be heartbroken,
and my life probably needs more metaphors.

I wish you were doing this out of self-defense
I'm still not sure who is leaving who and who already left.
There were some good times, but no love
and there is nothing I can give you anymore.

Maybe it's not about me,
maybe it's not even about you,
but you had the courage I didn't
and I wish you had spoken out sooner.

"I love with my heart and I hold it in my hands but you know my heart is not yours"

Do you remember the first time?

Rapidly,
Daphne descends.
Within the fall, most of her secrets spill,
and the room becomes inhabited and empty in a matter of seconds.
The decisions are taken far too quickly, yet we have been talking about this forever.

I got what I wanted, everything I wanted,
and I must confess I'm not that impressed.
Let me rephrase, I got what I thought I wanted.
Now I miss you more than ever,
I realize that love is such a strange little monster
and we cannot handle it even for a second.

There is a strange power in independance
though its boundary to loneliness is a blurry one
yet I sleep better without you.

What did you think that would happen?