It's not poetic being sad

I'd like to think that my world is wider
That everything I believe in is not just a mere fantasy
I wanna know that someday I'll be who i want to be
I wanna know that someday I'll do what I say

I lost myself again
I stopped believing in me
The fields where I used to run are full of rain and fog
The dreams I used to dream are darker and further

I used to love what I do
I used to love being me
Now I don't know where I belong
And I don't love anymore

I lost my passion
my presence
my whole point of view

Everything hurts
everyone hurts

I wish you were the reason
I wish you absence was the reason
But i hate depending on you
I'd rather be sad because of me.

Dreaming

It's like running in circles,
Every night I have the same dream
You and I in a different city
Somewhere far, out of reach

Play,
play some more
the music hasn't filled my ears yet

Hold me tight
and make out with me in the middle of the night

Let love fade away in your hands,
let the world end while we are sleeping,
Kiss me some more, keep playing
everything will be gone by the time we wake up.

Midnight Radio

"Rain falls hard
Burns dry
A dream
Or a song
That hits you so hard
Filling you up
And suddenly gone

Breathe
feel love
Give free
Know in your soul
Like your blood knows the way
From your heart to your brain
Knows that you're whole

And you're shining
Like the brightest star
A transmission
On the midnight radio
And you're spinning
Like a 45
Ballerina
Dancing to your rock and roll"

Me

Feel me up
Let the bubbles run to your head
Don't be afraid

It's me and me,
and always me
It's you and you
and sometimes me

Your lips turn cold and Im not here
My body screams for a new type of drug

I know you need me
I know you love me well

I miss the night we slept together
I'm wishing for the night we'll do it again

It's me and me
and always me
It's you and you
and everything you mean

The fucking things you say to me
the way you taught me how to live
The person who you make me want to be
The alcohol in my blood has increased

It's me and me
and always me
It's you and you
and now it's us.

Let me go

You had it
you lost it
don't cry over it now

Time told we were not meant to be
You see what you want to see
It was what it had to be

Don't keep pushing
You're not only going to make me hate you
But you are also going to ruin what we had

Keep it that way
there's no more to say
now is the other way around

You don't grow feeling your fears
you don't acquire desire from regret
You should respect the choices you've made

And now there's nothing
nothing is and nothing was
we are just people who feel like strangers

Nothing relates us now
nothing but the feeling
that we once wanted to be together
I don't look at the past
Im not longer who I was
You are not longer mine
so please, let me go.

Let's go run outside

Hold mi hand
and take me outside
where the light can still touch us

Fill my glass with wine
and drag me under the table
promise we'll be here next time the world ends

I look around
and I loose you
the rest of the universe spins faster than my pulse

And I faint
fearing to come back
and see you gone

If we make it through this alive
I'll meet you next year
same place, same time

Anything else

I...am speechless
I...can't tell anymore if I wanna live or die
It's so overwhelming

You make me feel
like I should not be anything else

You let me be
and see
and say
and do

You love who i am
and who i want to be

I couldn't ask for anything else
I'll stop the world and melt

Love and Hate

I love your lips
And I love your legs
I love your eyes
Baby you got style
I love your clothes
And I love your smile

I love you I love you I love you while
You don't even look at me
And I go crazy
For all the women that I never had
I sing my song of Love & Hate

I hate the boys
Walkin' by your side
I hate my dreams
They're not satisfied
I hate me, babe, for being too shy

I hate you I hate you I hate you while
You don't even look at me
And I go crazy
For all the women that I never had
I sing my song

You neighbour's sweetheart
You magazin girl
You striptease bird
From the underworld
You sweet sixteen
You little dames
You late thirties
Sweet japaneses
Ornella Muti
Si jolie mademoiselle
Vous etes ma folie
Vous etes si belles

For all the womenThat I never had
I sing my song of Love & Hate

I love your body
Baby you got style
You fly so high
When you're passin' by
It makes me laugh
And it makes me cry
Makes me want to die
When there's no reason why

For all the women That I never had
I sing my song of Love & Hate

Me veras volar en la ciudad de la furia

I feel, like everybody else
I sing and cry
What makes you think you are so special?

You are unique, as everybody else
You live and die
What makes you think I will choose you?

I see through you
I miss you sometimes
But that doesn't stop me from living

You left
I cried

What makes you think I'll choose you again?

John told me to let it Be

Well, there's nothing else
and there's nothing better
Those are my conclusions so far

But I think you also
can't pretend to be in control all the time
you have to let it be.

And it might not be what you want
or it might
but you don't wanna be living a lie
you don't wanna wake up every morning satisfied
because people do what you want them to do
it would be a world without interaction

Im sick

There's nothing else out there

There's a Hedwig song I've always loved:
"You think that luck has left you there
But maybe there's nothing up in the sky but air
and there's no mystical design
no cosmic lover pre assigned
there's nothing you can find
that cannot be found

cause with all the changes you've been through
it seems the stranger is always you
alone again in some new wicked little town

And when you've got no other choice
you know you can follow my voice
through the dark turns and noise of this little wicked town..."

So what if there's no more?
There's no one else to blame.
And the choices you've made get you to where you are
Who will you scream for to get you out of the dark?

Hedwig believed that we had been cut in half, separated from our other half, our soulmate. And life was the search of that part in order to be complete. But I don't.

Life would be pointless if it was dedicated to something else. We have no security that there's a point in it all. So why give it all away thinking we will not be complete until we find that other half? We are what we are, complete in ourselves. And , to the risk of sounding selfish, we matter the most. We are alone, and always will be. To decide to share our existence with some else is another thing.

But it's a decision,not a need.

Fuck the World

I hate it when people judge you
If you feel it right, there's no more to say.
There should be no holding back
no listening to their opinions

Things are the way they are
not what they are supposed to be

And if you can live with that
If you can enjoy them fully
there's no more for anyone to say

Sing your life

And now I sing
There's music in the room
but no one listens

You breathe in, breath out
try to find the courage to get through the door
Your whole body illuminates again
and you shine throughout the dark surface

You come back
and I keep singing